Exist Tense

by Squier Squier

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“I exist, that is all, and I find it nauseating.”
― Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness

“Youth ends when egotism does; maturity begins when one lives for others.”
― Hermann Hesse, Gertrude

“Life is a Big Orgasm of Pain & Pleasure.”
― Khalid Masood


When was the last time you had an orgasm?

And, if conversation, is so dull, you’d rather gouge your eyes out with warm spoons.

And, if conversation, should lead to, masturbation,
(mental or physical, verbal or digital, mental, physical, verbal, digital)
Then, just go, with, it.

You’ll feel better, for, it.

When was the last time you had an orgasm?

When was the last time you had an orgasm??

Mine was just this morning.

Repeat, release, repeat, release.
Repeat, release, repeat, release
(repeat, release)
Meshed and, mashed and, meshed.
(repeat release, exist tense, exist tense)


repeat release, repeat release,
Repeat release, repeat release
Exist tense exist tense exist tense
Exist tense

You’ll feel better
Feel better you’ll
Better you’ll feel
You’ll feel better


released April 27, 2020
Christo Squier
Vocals, Guitar, Vibraphone, Alto Saxophone, Bass,
Percussion, Synths

Susie Showers

Written and produced by Christo Squier.
Assorted vocal harmonies and vibraphone notes,
conjured up by Susie Showers.

This song has been variously visited and forgotten, numerous times over the span of about 9 years. Here's the convoluted process to arriving in your ears:

Phase 1 of this thing (guitar and vocals)
recorded on 30th August, 2011 at Premises Studios,
engineered by Jason Howes.

Phase 2 (bass guitar, vibraphone and percussion)
recorded on 18th September, 2015 at Premises Studios,
engineered by Jonjo Keefe.

Phase 3 gradually twiddled with and tweaked,
at home in South East London, in fits and starts,
during Winter 2018.

All, finally, mixed by William Robertson,
during ‘lockdown’ in the first couple of weeks of April, 2020.

Mastered by Justin Weis at Trakworx, San Francisco
26th April 2020.

Massive thanks to Fay Milton for lending me her vibraphone.

And also to the artist who painted this painting (who wishes to remain anonymous). X


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Squier Squier London, UK

Squier Squier is a London based composer, performer and producer.

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